We may be a few months late on this, but
there seems to have been an explosion of
upper-lip facial hair infiltrating the cycling
industry. Nary a cycling video or ride
goes by when we are not introduced to
someone in full moustache complète.
Instead of mocking it, we decided to name
it and frame it. “It’s French,” we declared,
realizing the tenuous but topical link the
moustache has with France—and this
issue. And then, we went one step further
en-gruppo. We embraced it and owned it.
We grew the beautiful and ancient coil of
hair on our upper lips. All of us. We rode
with it. Slept with it. We were shocked
by it, and in some cases experienced
gravely detrimental relationship
consequences because of it. But, we
soldiered on in the name of modernity,
and, of course, France.
It’s too early for a conclusion, and a few of
us may hold onto the ancient strip of facial
hair not accompanied by a beard. There’s
something John The Baptist and deeply
masculine about it all.
THE MOUSTACHE GURU
If you do find yourself in full moustache complète as you read this,
here are some words of wisdom from one of the most famous, talented
and interesting men in the cycling industry, TOM RITCHEY.
How long have you had the moustache? I was born with it. No, seriously, they
hadn’t invented nice razors when I went into puberty, and I didn’t have time for
shaving. So, when it started to grow, I never did anything about it.
Can you offer up some moustache care and maintenance tips or insight? My
tongue … it’s actually a very good source of food when I’m on a ride and need
some extra calories.
Your thoughts on the recent proliferation of moustache growth in cycling? Well,
let’s hope it leads to some very nice handlebar designs.
Favorite moustache care products (if any) and why? Again, see number 2.
Any moustache wisdom you can pass down to the new converts? Avoid looking
at yourself in the mirror too much, and/or being around your family. They are
always telling you to clean it, groom it, or shave it off! It can be embarrassing.
MR. STACHE WAX MOUSTACHE Not all of us have the skills, desire, hormones, or cajones to grow a real moustache. Granted, having a real one makes you climb mountain passes without effort, but there’s nothing better than a wax ‘stache. Wear it until the novelty runs out, then chew on it for the rest of the day. PRICE: $1.50 TWEEZERMAN SCISSORS Rather than getting pulled pork stuck in your man-stache, trim the poor thing up. The best way to keep wayward hairs in place is by buying a quality set of scissors. Stop using your lady’s set and get your own! This Italian-made gem will last a lifetime, is small enough to travel with and doesn’t cost much. PRICE: $12
Unless your goal is to become
a Walrus (Google Craig
Stadler), then it’s probably
wise you purchase one of
these. A couple strokes in the
morning and a few at night
(easy!) will keep your patch
looking as sweet as “Smokey
and the Bandit” era Burt
Reynolds. Handmade in England
and saw cut for perfection.
Looking good Champ! PRICE: $6